addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
