He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize