why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
