Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Randomize
