He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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