He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize