it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
