Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
