I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
