i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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