Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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