no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
