Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
