I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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