Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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