I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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