Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
