Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize