you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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