sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
