Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
