This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
