My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
