Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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