mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
