And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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