Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize