Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
