never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
