I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
