You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
