just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
