I'd wear matching sweaters with you
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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