He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
