dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
