i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
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