Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
But theres a keg here and me gusta
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
