dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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