Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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