So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
