At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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