New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
