Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
