My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
