She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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