My room smells like vodka and shame
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
