Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
