Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
