I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
