Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
