I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
