i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
