@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
