If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
