i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
