Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
