she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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