I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize