he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
