Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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