Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
The air was thick with penises
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
