You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
