is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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