Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Pants are for mortals
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize