wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
