Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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